Life With a Dash of Jashin
by HelloLovelyIHateYou
Summary: She was ornery, obnoxious, and by Jashin she pissed him off. So of course he fell in love with her. Jashin? You have some sense of humor. HidanXMiamay.
1. SemiHardened Ink is Fucking Blue!

**Yeah, hi. I'm writing fanfictions. Yay me. This one has an OC, get over yourself, it's still good. Yes, it's Miamay. Yes, I have another FF account. No, I'm not a loser. Yes, I have a life. **

**Hidan: She does, actually.**

**Thank you. Disclaimer?**

**I write for fun, not profit.**

**...**

**Chapter 1: Semi-Hardened Ink Is Fucking Blue!**

Hidan rolled over and slammed a hand on his alarm clock. Groaning, he sat up and blinked the last of the sleep from his eyes.

"Damn… stupid deadlines, seriously." He grumbled, throwing his legs off the bed and standing, stretching and cracking his back. He took a step foreward and-

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK?"

"What was that, Hidan?" The voice of his best friend- though they didn't really act like it- Kakuzu sounded.

"DAMN YOU, MONEYBAGS! YOU LEFT YOUR JASHIN-DAMNED TACKS IN THE FLOOR AGAIN, SERIOUSLY!!"

"My bad."

"IT WILL BE YOUR BAD IN A SECOND!"

Cursing under his breath, he rubbed his sore foot and yanked on a pair of black jeans and hooked his silver stud belt around his waist and headed down stairs to confront his black haired roommate.

"Breakfast?" The man held out the pan of omlets. A peace offering. Well, he supposed he could let it go this once…

"Damn straight." He said, grabbing one and flipping it onto his plate.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Kakuzu spoke.

"So, how long until the deadline?"

"Eight weeks."

"Not very long."

"I know. I still have at least six chapters left to write and my writer's block has only gotten worse, seriously."

"Maybe you should take a little break. Go out for a while, just relax." Kakuzu suggested. "I heard that helps."

"I guess I'll try it, then." Hidan said, shrugging. "Couldn't hurt, seriously."

And that's how he found himself walked through the streets, looking around at the unfamiliar places. He frowned. He really needed to get out more. The only places he knew were Starbucks and the music store.

He went with Starbucks.

"Hey, it's our favorite customer, un!" Deidara called cheerfully. Hidan gave a small wave and inhaled the delightful scent of coffee beans and chocolate.

"My usual." He called, sitting at his corner booth.

"I'll have Miamay ring it up, un." Deidara replied.

"Who?"

"She's our new worker, yeah."

"Seriously?" He sat back. He knew she wouldn't last long, no matter how tough she was. No new employee had ever survived Sasori's cold stare, Tori's constant bitchiness, nor his need to insult and cuss out everyone and everything.

"Here ya go." A tired voice said, inturrupting his thoughts. His eyes traveled upwards slowely.

Woah. He thought in his head. He went from barely visible thighs (due to the table) to a gorgeous set of hips to a thin, flat stomach to a small-medium chest- Disporportionate, he thought, amused- to a slender neck to a pretty face. Her skin was a flawless alabaster, her hair, blacker than black and long, to the small of her back, with bangs that hung in eyes that were pupiless and bloodred with dark purple shadows haunting them. Her nose was- dare he say it- cute, and her lips, voluptuous and full, were curled into a smirk.

"If you're quite through undressing me with your eyes, fucking pervert, can you take your damned coffee?" She snapped out, and he was startled by her voice. It reminded him of a glacier- cold, yet beautiful.

"What the hell ever. And I'm not a fucking pervert, bitch." He snarled, grabbing his coffee. She cocked an eyebrow and turned away, her long black hair swishing in his face. He watched her walk away, feeling blessed by Jashin to get an eyeful of this. She wasn't beautiful, but she was cute. Almost sexy. But not beautiful.

"Miamay, that coffee's not going to make itself."

"I'm working on it!" She snapped, and Hidan nearly choked on his coffee. No one spoke to Sasori like that and got away alive- at least, not that he'd heard of.

Sasori's eyes widdened and he- laughed?

"Well, work on it faster." He said. Still chuckling, he walked around to the back.

Hidan's mouth dropped open and he rubbed his eyes.

"Did I wake up this morning?" He muttered. "The only explaination for this is a dream. No way could there be a cute girl with a badass attitude who can stand up to Sasori and I in the same hour."

"Talking to yourself, Hida-chan?" A cheery voice interrupted his thoughts. He blinked and there was Satori, sitting across from him.

"Fuck off, seriously."

"Ah, the sound of sweet love." She sighed, pretending to swoon at his words. "Get up on the wrong side of the bed today?"

"'Kuzu left his damn tacks on the fucking floor again."

"Ouch. Pleasant."

"Not really."

"So," She said, changing the subject. "How do you like Mia-chan?"

Mia-chan? What was wrong with the world? Was he the only sane being on planet Earth?

"You look bewildered. What's up?"

"The worlds messed up, seriously!"

"Huh?"

"This girl can't be real!"

"… You're losing me, Hida-chan."

"She's got a killer body and she can out-jerk Sasori, almost out-swear me and she's turned you into a female!" He said, gesturing at her outfit, which was a red and black miniskirt with a black t-shirt and black fingerless gloves. Satori frowned at him.

"I've always been a female. As for the Sasori thing, she's our cousin. And as for the out-swearing you, she's a Jashinist." Tori informed him. His eyes popped out- not literally, of course.

"Killer body, badass attitude, and she's a fucking Jashinist? _What the **FUCK,**_ seriously?!?!?"

"Oookaaay… Hida-chan, you're creeping me out. I think you need more coffee, okay? Okay. I'll get it."

She scooted off the bench and walked to the coffee machine. He closed his eyes and waited.

Not more than thirty seconds later, he heard a soft thump.

"That was quick, seriously." He said, cracking an eye.

"Hmm. Really."

"WOAH! Where'd you come from?" He shouted, jumping a mile and hitting his knee on the table. While he rubbed his bruise, she smirked and rested her chin in her hand.

"So, you're the Notorious Hidan, Jashinist Expert and Swearing Extraordinaire." She purred in a voice like velvet. "I'm sure you already know my name."

"Yeah." Two could play the Name Game. "The Infamous Miamay, Master of Changing Attitudes and Female Jashinst Extraordinaire." He countered. She laughed and sat back, her eyes drifting shut.

"Don't you have to get back to work?"

"Nah-ope. Break."

"Fuckin' bitch gets all the damn luck." He swore under his breath.

"Love you too, koi." She said without opening her eyes.

"What are you, fucking bionic?" He snapped, annoyed with her already. She opened an eye and grinned a half-grin that made her seem almost, almost beautiful.

"Sorry, I'm not into albinos." She replied.

"Not into albinos? You are a fucking albino!"

"The hell you talking about?" she snapped, but the slight flush of her cheeks told him he was right.

"Red eyes and alabaster skin don't fucking belong to a normal person. And your hair has got to be fucking dyed, seriously. No one has hair the color of semihardened ink."

"Look, you stupid motherfucker," She snarled, standing and slamming her hands on the table and giving Hidan a nice view of her cleavage. "Semi-hardened ink has a Jashin-damned blue tint! Does my fucking hair look fucking blue to you, you fucking moron? My fucking hair is fucking natural, you fucking freak!" And she was gone.

He blinked in surprise. He hadn't really meant to piss her off. That seemed to happen a lot when he was talking to people. Kakuzu had told him one time that he was the male equivalent of a bitch because he always 'spoke his mind' and 'made females feel ugly' or some shit like that.

"Well, you did a good job of pissing Miamay off. She's just been given the day off. You get to see her in non-work clothes with all her piercings! Huzzah for you." Tori said unenthusiastically, plopping down across from him.

"I didn't mean to piss her off, seriously!"

"I know. She gets easily pissed off, though. Don't worry about it; she'll have forgotten about it in an hour."

On cue, there were footsteps and the ice-voice called, "Tor, you coming?"

"Hang up a minute," She called back. Hidan looked for the source of the ice-voice and nearly had a heart attack.

The girl he'd managed to piss off beyond all reason had changed from decent black dress pants, a black shirt, and the normal Starbucks apron to black skinnies with white hearts and red skulls scattered across them, a red long-sleeved T-shirt that had "I EAT SPOONS!" written across it, white graffiti converse with black and white checkered ankle socks, and an overcoat that reached mid-thigh.

He dared to look at her face and saw she now had a nose piercing, lip piercings, and five ear piercings. Her finishing touch was rather thick, yet very tidy, eyeliner.

"Well, bye, Hida-chan." Tori said, standing and grabbing her jacket.

"Yeah, see you later, Hida-chan." Miamay smirked and the two left the coffee shop.

He blinked.

"Uh, check please."


	2. Friends?

**Well, here's the second chapter. I'm probably gonna upload them all today. Prepare for some drama-drama.**

**Hidan: Yay us.**

**Miamay: Indeed.**

**...**

**Chapter 2- Friends?**

Hidan stealthily followed the two girls as the walked down the street and ducked into a nearby _Tokyo_ restaurant. He followed quickly, ducking in after them and waiting until they got a table.

"Near them, please." He muttered quickly. The lady nodded in understanding and he quickly sat down.

"I don't really know what you're talking about, Tor." Miamay's voice rang out. He heard Tori laugh slightly.

"Oh, you know… _him_."

"Toto, I told you- he is so last year!"

Hidan furrowed his eyebrows. Were they talking about him?

"Chris Brown is _not_ last year!" Tori defended. He relaxed.

"Good Jashin, Toto. He's a fuckin' wanna-be rapper. He sucks ass!"

Hidan silently agreed. Chris Brown didn't just suck, he blew as well.

"You like that one song of his!"

"One song doesn't imply that I have to fucking bow down to his damned feet and kiss the ground he friggin walks on." He could practically hear her roll her eyes.

"I'm not like that!"

"Didn't say you were. Just said."

"'Tever, Mia-chan." Tori said. "On a completely different note, how do you like Hidan?"

"That was the fuckin' creeper from Starbucks, right?"

"Yup."

"Um. He annoyed me." Hidan frowned. He was not-

"But he was pretty damn cool."

He jerked up and his eyes widdened. _Cool?_

"You _like_ him, don't you?"

"Hell fucking no! He annoys the shit outta me, Toto! Jashin-damned retard telling me that my hair looks like fucking semi-hardened fucking ink! Hella fucking _moron!"_ Miamay practically shouted. Hidan glared holes into her back.

_Damned bitch!_

"But," She added, somewhat like an afterthought. "I could see myself getting along with him."

"You guys are, like, _meant_ for each other! I'm not even joking." Tori said seriously.

Miamay chuckled and took a sip of her water.

"Yeah, right. Watch what you say, or soon we'll be dating."

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

Suddenly her voice sounded worn-out and hollow. "It is, Satori. You know it is."

Tori's voice was soothing. "'Sokay, Mia-chan. Don't cry."

Hidan furrowed his brows and leaned foreward. She was _crying?_

"W-we should go…" She mumbled, her hand flitting up and brushing what he assumed was a tear away.

He motioned to the waitress, who came over quickly. He whispered something to her and she nodded, seeming surprised. He gave her some money and left.

"Miss? We'd like our check." Tori called.

"No need."

"E-excuse me?" She stuttered, surprised.

"A nice young man who was just here payed for your bill in full. He said to give you the change if you would like it." The lady said softly, looking at the shocked girls.

"O-oh. No. Keep the change." Tori said faintly.

She pulled Miamay up and led her to the door, calling a quick thank you to the lady.

Tor looked around swiftly, her sharp eyes looking out for any telltale detail that would show her the 'nice young man' who she had her suspicions about.

There! A flash of white.

"Come on!" She yanked Miamay through the crowd, trying to catch up to the guy.

"HIDAN!"

He froze for a split second and that was all she needed to pull up to him.

"Tori?" He asked, puzzled. She looked at him.

"Why'd you pay for our bill?" She asked, breathing heavily. Miamay stood like a statuette next to her.

"Bill? Huh? Why the hell would I pay for your bill when I have problems of my own to deal with, seriously?" Hidan asked snippishly. Tori backed off.

"Sorry. Thought it was you."

"Well, it wasn't. Jeez, you'd think you don't know me _at all_." Hidan rolled his eyes and turned to walk.

"Wait, Hida-chan! Join us!" Tor said urgently.

"Why?" He was taken aback.

"To make up for my mistake." She replied, giving him her best puppy dog look.

"Oh, alright. But only to save my own ass."

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't play child. Like you wouldn't make Sasori give me hell later." Hidan said, rolling his eyes.

"I don't know what you mean." She said innocently.

"Where are we headed, anyway?" He asked after a minute.

"We are going…" Tori thought for a second. "What time is it?"

"Three."

"Alright, then we are going to _So Hott_." She said with a twinkle in her eye. Hidan cocked an eyebrow and sighed.

"Okay."

The whole time, Miamay had been perfectly silent. Now she opened up to speak.

"Shouldn't we at least wait for dark?" She inquired softly, her voice sounding more like velvet than ice now.

"Nah, it's more fun now anyway!"

That's how they ended up at _So Hott_.

"Tor! This place is _packed!"_ Hidan shouted over the music.

"I know! Isn't it great!" She shouted back, then melted into the crowd, leaving him with Miamay. He cast her a sidelong glance.

"Er… want to go get a drink?" He asked nonchalantly. She shrugged and nodded, and they headed through the crowd.

"Uh, I'd like something strong, and she wants…" He looked at her and she looked away and shrugged.

"She'll have a beer." He finished. The blonde at the counter nodded and began gathering the items she would need. He slid onto a stool and motioned for her to get on the one beside him. She obliged, but she didn't seem very happy. In fact, she seemed… edgy, as if she was a rabbit being stalked by an abnormally cunning fox. He wondered if he was being overbearing or something.

"What's up?" He asked, leaning on his elbow. Her eyes rested on him for a second before sweeping the crowd again. It took her a minute to answer in the velvet voice.

"Nothing." She said, too quickly. In the background, _Hot N Cold_ came on through the speakers. At the same moment, the black haired woman next to him gasped and sat rigid on her seat.

"What is it?" he asked, concerned.

"…" She looked for a way to escape… too late.

"Well, Miamay. It's been a while, hasn't it?" A husky voice spoke. She eyed the guy warily.

"It would seem so." She said, a note of despair creeping into her voice.

"And who would _this_,"-at the word, he eyed Hidan with distaste, as if he'd just smelled something bad- "be, Miamay?"

"That's not really any of your fucking-damned business, now is it, Suigetsu?" She snapped, grabbing the beer that had just appeared at her elbow and taking a monstrous swig.

Hidan eyed the guy. Suigetsu. What ties did _he_ have to Miamay?

"I believe it _is_ my business," He said smoothly. "If some hooligan is associating with you."

"You gave up your fucking rights when you fucking slept with that damned whore, Karin." She said in an equally smooth voice. "I believe all claim is with Hidan now."

"Is he your boyfriend?" He challenged. Miamay snorted.

"He wishes he was that cool. No, he's a… friend. From work." She replied. Hidan glared at the boy.

"Hmm…" He muttered. "What a queer."

"What the hell'd you just say?" Hidan shouted, whipping out of his seat as fast as a bullet and glaring down at the guy. "Would you like to fucking say that to my face, you Jashin-damned bastard?"

Suigetsu regarded him coldly.

"You're a queer." He stated.

Without any warning whatsoever, Hidan punched him in the nose. The crowd gasped and the room suddenly went quiet as death. Hidan stared down at the kid, breathing heavily. Suigetsu deftly popped his nose back into place and stood up, wiping the blood from his upper lip.

"Want some more, eh?" Hidan taunted. "Stupid bastard. Shouldn't have picked a fight with someone bigger than you." Suigetsu glared at him with black eyes and aimed a punch at the white haired Jashinist, who dodged swiftly.

"Missed me!"

Every punch Suigetsu threw was dodged by Hidan, who laughed and taunted him all the while. Miamay watched quietly with sharp eyes, not missing a detail.

Suddenly, Suigetsu threw a surprise kick that would surely make a mark this time. Hidan shut his eyes and waited.

And waited.

And still waited.

"Huh?" He opened his eyes to see a familiar head of black hair.

The crowd was utterly silent. The girl had her arms crossed in front of her, blocking the kick with her forearms. Her eyes were shut and her mouth was a thin line.

"This isn't your fight." Suigetsu said softly, pulling his foot away.

Her arms slowely lowered and her eyes flew open suddenly. She spoke, surprising everyone.

"You're wrong. This is _our_ fight." The velvet had turned back to ice.

"I don't want to fight you."

"But _I_ want to fight_ you._ Remember when you said you could fucking take me? Well, let's see if you fucking can." She melted into a fighting stance, smooth as butter. He shrugged.

"Your neck." And they began.

They seemed to be evenly matched, but soon it became apparent who was the better fighter. Miamay could block every punch he threw and every kick he aimed, and she could fight back with such ferocity it shocked Hidan.

It ended almost as swiftly as it had begun; Miamay the victor, as she had predicted.

"Let's go." She hissed to Hidan, who nodded. They left quietly, leaving a shocked audience.

He followed her for a little while, wondering what all that was.

"Sorry about that." She said after a while.

"What?"

"You shouldn't have even met him."

"It's not your problem, seriously."

"Stupid Suigetsu… always ruining everything… why did I ever…" She broke off, mumbling to herself in an annoyed voice.

"Look, Miamay," Hidan took a deep breath. "I know you probably don't like me very much, but I was wondering if we could… maybe… be…" He struggled a moment with _nice_ words. "Friends?"

"..." She burst into loud guffaws.

"What?" He asked, puzzled.

"What makes you think I don't _like_ you?" She gasped out between laughs. He paused, processing this new information.

"You told Tori I annoyed the shit out of you." He said, taken aback.

"You do! But _everyone_ annoys the hell out of me!"

"Shit."

"Whatever! The point is, I like you. You're pretty damn cool. I'm just an overly pissy bitch. People get used to it; just ask Toto or 'Komi. They annoy the hell- shit, whatever- out of me all the Jashin-damned time. I fucking love them anyway. As for the answer to your question, yes, we can be friends. If you can fucking handle me." She winked. He felt a grin form on his face.

"We'll just have to fucking see, won't we?"

"Yes, that we will."

…

"Well, Hidan? How'd it go?"

"Pretty damn swell, 'Kuzu. Pretty damn swell."

...

**Well? You liiiike?**

**This writing made me hate Suigetsu.**


	3. Skelanimals and Pretzels

**Third chapter! This is where the looooove game gets started...**

**...**

**Chapter 3- Skelanimals and Pretzels**

Hidan woke one morning to one of his favorite bands, Cobra Starship.

_Go on, believe  
If it turns you on  
Take what you need  
'__Till your pride is gone  
Prostitution  
Is revolution!  
You can hate me  
Until you pay me_

He slapped the alarm off and groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes.

_Ding dong_.

"Shit!" He flew out of bed and yanked on a pair of skinny jeans while simultaneously trying to pull on a white dress shirt as he ran into the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush, shoving it in his mouth and trying to brush his teeth at the same time as all the previous paraphernalia.

"'Kuzu! I got it, seriously!" He shouted around the toothbrush, trying to hop into his jeans while going down the stairs as Kakuzu opened the door.

"Who are you?"

"Miamay. Who the hell're you?"

"Kakuzu. Hidan's roommate."

"Ooh, Hida-chan's got a roomy, eh?" He could hear the smirk on her voice.

"Hida-chan?" For that matter, he could hear it in Kakuzu's, too.

"Fageddaboutit. Where is he?"

"Here- woah!" Hidan toppled over after succesfully fitting both feet into one of the legs of his jeans.

Needless to say, the two at the door burst out laughing.

"Hardy-har-har." Hidan muttered, fixing his jeans and standing.

"You coming, Hida-chan?" Miamay asked, fixing her ruby eyes on him.

"Hold your fucking horses, seriously." He growled, buttoning his shirt and heading back into the bathroom.

"My horses aren't fucking!" She called after him.

"Check again, bitch!"

"That's _Queen_ Bitch to you!"

"Does that make him King Bitch?" Kakuzu mumbled under his breath.

"He wishes he was that cool!" Miamay said back.

As Kakuzu stared at her in shocked disbelief, Hidan came out of the bathroom, looking neat and ready for the day.

"Let's fucking go already." He said, grabbing his leather jacket and heading out the door.

"Later, Kuzu-chan!" Miamay waved and ran after Hidan.

"Where the hell are we going?" Hidan snapped when she caught up. She huffed at him.

"Calm the fuck down, dammit! What the hell'd you do this morning? Did I interrupt you watching porn or some shit? Quite being a fucking bitch already!" She snarled in her ice-voice. He flinched.

"Sorry, sorry." He muttered.

"…" She sighed and stopped in front of a car.

"Come on."

"Where?"

"Get in the car."

"This is _yours_?" He stared at the shiny black 911 Turbo. She pulled the keys from her hoodie and jangled them in his face.

"Hell yeah, it's mine." She smirked and pulled open the door, sliding into the driver's seat. "Now, you coming? Or do you wanna walk?"

"I'm coming, seriously." He recovered his voice and got in the car.

…

"Why are we _here_?"

"Because I like this place, duh." She said as if it were obvious. Hidan stared at all the people.

"But… it's so… eurgh!"

"Oh, suck it up!" She rolled her eyes and pulled him between the tables of… junk was all Hidan could think to call it.

"Hey, there, Miamay!"

"Pervy-sage! What the hell are you doing here?" Miamay cried, pulling away from Hidan and running to hug someone.

"Aww, is Naruto teaching you that?" The white haired man complained.

"No, you're just a perv." She teased. He gave a mock-distressed look.

"Oh, woe is me! You've found out my purpose in life!" He pretended to faint.

"Okay, your perviness notwithstanding, what are you doing here?" She questioned. He grinned at her.

"Thought I'd pick something up for Kakashi."

"Uncle Kakashi? How is he?" She seemed worried now.

"He's getting a lot better. Your aunt's pretty upset, though. You should go visit them."

"I will, I promise. I've just been so busy getting settled and all that…" She looked at the ground guiltily. "Sorry, Jairya. I know."

"You could come back. Anko would love to have you."

"I have to do this, Jairya."

"What about Shizune, Iruka, Tsunade, and all the rest? They all-_we_ all- miss you terribly." The man said quietly.

"I miss you guys, too. But… this is something I _have_ to do." She seemed desperate for him to see something. Hidan cleared his throat.

They jumped and Miamay turned pink.

"O-oh! Jairya! This is Hidan."

"It's about time."

"Huh?"

"He's your boyfriend, right?" Jairya didn't wait for an answer before he was shaking Hidan's hand fiercly. "It's nice to meet you, m'boy! Take good care of Mia-chan, please. She's had such a hard life, what with-"

"JAIRYA!" Miamay bellowed, effectively alerting everyone in the bazaar. "HE IS NOT MY F- MY BOYFRIEND, OKAY?"

"Really? Hmm. Too bad. I rather like him."

"You just met him!" She said, exsasperated. "You don't even know the guy!"

"Oh, you know me, Miamay. I can sense things." He winked and she sighed.

"Please keep your senses to yourself." She said wearily.

"You're only saying that because you know they're never wrong!"

"You got me. 'Bye, Pervy-sage."

"See you later, Miamay. I'm telling Kakashi to expect a visit from you before the month is over."

"Jairya, the month is over tomorrow."

"Okay, before the _next_ month is over." He corrected, turning to leave.

"It was nice to meet you, Hidan." He shook Hidan's hand again and slipped away.

"That guy was…" Hidan searched for the right words.

"Berserk?" Miamay suggested wryly. "Yeah, I know. But he's family."

"I can tell."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" She growled playfully and he grinned.

"Oh, you know." He said vaguely.

"Come on." She rolled her eyes and pulled him through the various shops.

"I'm curious, Miamay…"

"What?"

"Why'd you stop from cussing at Pervy-sage?"

She started and looked away from him.

"Just didn't want to embarrass him." She said, shrugging.

"Okay…" He puzzled over this until she stopped and squealed in delight.

"What? What is it?" He asked, alarmed. Another crazy family member?

"OH MY JASHIN! It's so beautiful!" She cried, reaching out and grabbing a black object, hugging it to her chest.

"What is it?" He asked. She held it out to him. It was a skeleton bear.

"It's a fucking Skelanimal! Jashin, it's sooo adorable!" She hugged it again and jumped up and down with joy.

Hidan sweatdropped. She was acting… weird.

"How much is it…" Her grin faded. "Oh."

"What?"

"I can't get it."

"Why not?"

"It's too much."

"How can it be too much?" He flipped the price tag and looked at the number. It was only eight bucks. Not that much.

"I only brought five dollars with me." She said sadly, setting the stuffed animal down and turning away.

"Come on, Hidan. Let's go get some food."

She went to a consession stand and stood in line sullenly.

"Uhm… sir? I'd like this, please." He said, pointing at the bear-skeleton-_whatever_.

"That'll be eight dollars." Hidan paid him and stuffed the animal in a bag.

"HIDAN! WHADDYA WANT TO EAT?" Miamay's unmistakable voice bellowed through the crowds, and he broke into a jog to reach her.

"Pretzel with cheese." He called when he was close enough. She nodded and went back to the man.

…

"What do you have in those bags?" She asked curiously as the walked back to the car.

"Stuff." He said, shrugging. She nodded and unlocked the car. She paused with her hand on the door.

"Hidan… do you want to drive?" She asked. He felt his face light up.

"Hell fucking yes!" He exulted, taking a flying leap and sliding across the hood of the car. She laughed and handed him the keys, climbing into the passenger seat.

He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"This is fucking sweet!" He cried, practically bouncing with joy. She grinned her magic grin and stared out the window for about five minutes before clicking on the radio.

_Nanananana  
_

_Nananana_

_Hurry up_

_And wait_

_So close_

_But so far away_

_Everything_

_That you always dreamed of_

_Is close enough for you take_

_But you just can't touch_

Hidan looked at her incredulously.

"What the hell is this?" He asked. She smiled and began singing along with the chorus.

_We live and we learn_

_To take one step at a time_

_There's no need to rush_

_It's like learning to fly_

_Or falling in love_

_Oooh_

_It's gonna happen and it's_

_So close to happenin'_

_When we find the reasons why_

_One step at a time_

He cocked an eyebrow and shrugged.

"You like Jordin Sparks?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, but her face flushed a nice pomegranate and he grinned.

_We live and we learn_

_To take one step at a time_

_There's no need to rush_

_It's like learning to fly_

_Or falling in love_

_Oooh_

_It's gonna happen and it's_

_So close to happenin'_

_When we find the reasons why_

_One step at a time_

She stared at him in utter shock and disbelief.

"Y-you s-sing?" She stuttered. He shrugged and faced forward.

"Not very good." He said.

"_Not very good?"_ She repeated in outrage. "You're-" She broke off and the pomegranate turned a shade darker.

"I'm what? Horrible? They should put me to death?" He suggested.

"No… you're, um… really good." She blushed darker and stared out the window.

"Thanks." He forced the words out.

"You're… welcome."

"So, where do you want to go now?" He changed the subject. She shrugged.

"Anywhere."

He grinned.

…

"Where are we?" She mumbled groggily. Hidan turned off the car and opened his door, crossing over and opening hers.

"I come here all the time. It helps me write." He said as explaination. She looked puzzled but stepped out of the car

"Close your eyes." She obediently shut her eyes.

Five minutes later, she heard, "Okay." Opening her crimson eyes, she gasped in surprise. A red-and-white checkered blanket was spread out, Hidan sitting on it. She stepped forward jerkily and sat opposite of him.

"What's this all about?" She blurted. He frowned.

"Is it too…" He racked his brains for the right word. "Personal? I've never had a real girl friend."

"No, it's good. Just… what's with it?"

"Well, I got you something. Well, several somethings." He said, handing her the bags.

"Uhm… really? Why?"

"Money was burning a fucking hole in my pocket." He said, shrugging.

"Okay." She pulled something out of the first bag.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Okay, that was just a joke, seriously." Hidan chortled, dodging her hand as she tried to get a punch to his face.

She gritted her teeth and glared at the lingerie in her hand, as if she could make it spontaneously combust if she stared at it long enough.

"No, but seriously. Here." He handed her the other two bags.

"Okay… wow. A… um… what is it?"

"I don't really know." Hidan admitted. "It just looks like you."

"Huh." She looked at the abstract sculpture in her hand. "I like it. But how does it look like me?"

"Oh, you know. It's crazy, you're crazy."-she gave him The Look at that- "It's odd, you're odd. It's different, you're different. It's… er… yeah." _It's pretty, you're pretty._ He swallowed the words. He'd only been her friend for a few weeks; didn't want to scare her off so early.

She opened the last bag and shrieked.

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!" She tackled him into a hug. He blushed a light pink and looked up.

"No… problem." He said faintly.

_What in the name of Jashin is wrong with me?_

**...**

**Well well... yes, I'm aware Hidan is OC, but do I look like I really care? No? Then leave me alone.**


	4. Love vs Lust

**Fourth chapter!**

**...**

**Love vs. Lust**

"Well, see ya later, fucker!"

"That's no way to treat someone who just fucking bought you a bunch of shit, seriously!"

"'Tever, Hida-chan!" She peeled out and drove off.

"Hey, Hida-chan."

"Shut it, Crakerzoo."

"Oh, good Kami, not that again!"

"Haha." Hidan climbed the stairs and fell back on his bed. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the piece of paper that the Pervy-sage had slipped in his hand right before he left.

_Be good to her._ Was the first thing his saw.

Huh? _Be good to her?_ What was he, her fucking boyfriend? After thinking about that for a second, he realized that he wouldn't much mind that. Both the boyfriend and the fucking part.

He uncrumpled the little note all the way and read the whole thing.

_To whom it may concern,_

_If you're reading this, then you're going to be The One. Don't fight it. She'll fall for you soon, or she already has._

_Be good to her,_

_Mia's family_

He rolled his eyes and folded the paper, sticking it under his lamp and closing his eyes a little bit.

"Hidan?"

He opened his eyes to see Miamay.

"What the hell're you doing here?" He muttered groggily.

"You left your jacket in my car." She said softly. His eyebrows knitted together. He could have _sworn_ he'd worn it in. Oh, well.

"Thanks." He stood up and walked over to grab it. Their hands brushed and electricity shuddered through his veins. They locked eyes and suddenly she was in his arms, their lips connected in a passionate kiss.

_Oh Jashin, YES!!_ Hidan thought victoriously as he guided her towards the bed.

"Hidan…" She moaned.

"Mm?"

"Fuck me."

"Sure?"

"Duh."

"HIDAN!"

"THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?" Hidan sat bolt upright, a thin layer of sweat covering his pale body. Kakuzu stood over him, a smug look on his face.

"You fell asleep. And you were making some serious happy noises, too."

"Uh?"

"So who was it? Angelina Jolie?"

"No way. Whore, seriously." Hidan growled.

"That Satori chick?"

"Hell fucking no." He said, glaring.

"Okaaay. Then who was it?"

"Can you just fucking drop it?"

"Sure. Of course. When you tell me who it is."

"It's no one, seriously!"

"Whatever, Hida-chan." Kakuzu rolled his emerald eyes. "You know you can tell me."

"You won't tell her?"

"Who?"

"Erm…" He fell back onto the bed and bit his lip. "M…" He hesitated again.

"Well?" Kakuzu looked concerned now.

"…" He exhaled slowely. "Miamay."

"That hottie from this morning? Wait, _I_ don't have an intrest in her. You know my gender preference. I'm just saying." He added hastily after seeing Hidan's glare.

He relaxed and looked at the ceiling again.

"So… you just like her because she's sexy? Or is there something else?"

"Not… I don't know. Probably just a fluke; she's the only girl I've been hanging out with other than Tori."

"True."

"…"

"Look, why don't you invite her out for a drink?"

"Um, because?"

"Why?"

"I just fucking saw her today, seriously. She'll think I'm stalking her or something."

"I doubt it. Besides, you slept through the whole night. It's twelve already."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

"Alrighty then." He headed to the phone.

"Yo, if this is the fucker of whom I call Mikomi, you owe me fifty bucks, byotch."

"Hey, Miamay."

"Oh, hey, Hidan." Good. She was calling him Hidan. Maybe he could do this.

"How's it going?"

"Good. Listen… want to get a drink with me tonight?"

"You asking me out on a date, Hida-chan?"

Back to Hida-chan. In which case, no, he was _not_ asking her out on a date.

"Just thought you'd want to fucking come."

"You paying?"

"Duh."

"I'm in, fucker." And she hung up.

"Well?" Kakuzu asked smugly.

"Fuck you, money-whore."

…

"Hey, Hidan!" Tori cried, giving him a hug. He groaned inwardly. When he'd invited Miamay for a drink, he hadn't meant _invite Satori and Mikomi too_. Oh, well. He'd have to deal.

"What's up, Tori?" He asked, hugging her back. You got used to Tori hugging you at random times. It was part of life.

"The sky! But seriously. Why'd you invite Miamay out?" She wiggled her eyebrows like the villain of vaudaille. He groaned inwardly.

"Because she's my _friend_."

"You didn't bring Kuzu-chan." So Miamay had told about 'Kuzu's nickname, too. What had she not told the Witch Twins?

"Hidan, you've grown." He looked up to see Mikomi. She was quite the scary character. Mostly her eyes were the scary things; they were all black except for the pupils and iris', which were orange. Her hair was short and black, with orange tips and bangs that were cut straght across her forehead. She loved those colors, if you couldn't tell. She was dressed in an orange tank top and a short black miniskirt with black fingerless gloves and a variety of chains hanging from the skirt that jingled at her hips.

Satori, on the other hand, had her red-and-black hair done up in a spiked ponytail on the top of her head. She had a crimson T-shirt with a black vest over it and black skinnies. Her black eyes were surrounded by black eyeliner and she had black-and-red fingerless gloves.

And Miamay… wait a second.

"Where is Miamay, anyway?" Hidan asked.

"She's hiding."

"From me?"

"From Suigetsu." Satori grinned and pointed to a shadowed figure, out of view from anyone unless you were just looking for her. He nodded his thanks and headed over to her.

"Hey, hottie." A seductive voice purred. He turned his gaze to see a girl that was most definitely drool-worthy but not what he was looking for. Redheaded with black eyes, her hair, which looked natural but that didn't tell him much, was up in a high ponytail. Her skin was a creamy… er, cream-color, and her rosy cheeks indicated that she was UTI- Under The Influence. Her clothes left almost nothing to the imagination, what with the zip-up belly shirt and the _really_ short shorts.

"Uhm…" He racked his brains. He _knew_ her from somewhere. Wait, this resembled the whore Miamay was telling him about, the one that stole her boyfriend… Karin! That was it.

"You're Karin, right?"

"So you know me… I wanna know you." She clutched his arm and looked up at him adoringly.

"Yeah… I gotta go." He said quickly, pushing her off and looking up.

Miamay was gone.

"Damn it." He cursed under his breath, pushing through the crowd and heading out the door. Sure enough, a figure retreated into the dark.

"Miamay! Wait up, seriously!" He called, chasing after her. She paused to let him catch up, but her expression was less than friendly.

"What do you want?" She asked warily. He looked confused.

"I invited you, duh. I wanted to at least fucking _see_ you before you flew the coop."

"Nice metaphor."

"Thank you. Now, why'd you rush off in such a hurry?" He took her in, standing in the pale moonlight. Her crimson eyes looked wearier than ever, her purple shadows even more prominent. They practically screamed _I NEED SLEEP!_

She had on a button up long-sleeved white shirt and black jeans that flared at the bottom. That… that was it. Not even all her usual peircings. She didn't look at all like the other Miamay he was so used to.

"Why the hell do all men…" She broke off and stared at the ground.

"Huh?"

"All of you. You're all a sucker for big boobs. My _Jashin."_ She growled. He looked taken aback.

"What the- you saw Karin." He understood. "Look, I didn't-"

"I mean, what's the big-ass deal?" She ranted. "They're just _boobs_. They feed the kids! Jashin dammit, you all act like horny puppies all the fucking time around women like Karin."

"I know. We're just like that, seriously." Hidan shrugged helplessly. "We don't fucking _mean_ to, it's just what… I don't know."

"They can be pushed up. Or pushed together. Or bloated."

"I know."

"And they can be made to look smaller."

"Huh?"

She sighed and reached up, undoing the buttons of her shirt. She slowely revealed more pale skin… the hollow of her throat… her collarbone… her white bra…. He swallowed and his eyes, ignorant of his will, stayed riveted as she reached up and unclasped her bra.

No.

This wasn't right.

Her body's shape… it was all wrong for _this_.

_I take it back. She is beautiful. She_ is_._ He thought, the only coherent thought in his mind at the present.

"H-how…" His breath hitched in his throat and his fingers twitched.

"Not everybody flaunts it," She said, as if she were teaching. His arms moved and began a journey upwards.

She blinked and the bra suddenly came together, squeezing, compressing, concealing.

"You don't get to touch." She said.

"I wasn't." He didn't know if this was true or not. She buttoned up her shirt and sighed.

"Men." She grumbled.

"What?"

"You're a pretty smart guy. And just now, your I.Q. dropped by about fifty percent."

"You caught me off guard." He protested.

"Riiight." She rolled her eyes and struck a pose. An off-task part of his mind noted that nothing jiggled or moved and he silently thanked Jashin for the bra designer who created it.

"You did!"

"They're just fucking _boobs_, for Jashin's sake!" She said again, crossing her arms.

"Well, they're…" He choked on the word _enormous_.

"Huge? Gargantuam? Enormous?" She filled in. She pointed at the sky and slapped on a face of mock-horror.

"HOLY JASHIN! It's Miamay's BOOBS! They're blocking out the SUN!"

"Shut up." Hidan muttered, his ears burning.

"Right. I'll fucking do that." She snapped, turning to leave.

"Wait, don't-" He reached out and grabbed her arm. Well, he meant to. He ended up grabbing her hand. She stiffened and he dropped it as if he'd been burned.

"Don't. Touch. Me." She snarled, disappearing into the night.

…

Three days later, and he hadn't heard from her at all. The dreams definitely continued, worse than ever now that he knew what her chest looked like- it was burned in his memory forever- and he found himself even _daydreaming_ about her. Kakuzu was getting impatient with having to slap him out of his daydreams and enduring a barriage of cussing afterwards.

He flung a hand over his eyes and fell asleep.

…

"Hello, is Hidan here?" Miamay asked Kakuzu. He nodded.

"He's up in his room. Tell him I left, okay?" She nodded and he walked out as she walked in.

Stepped quietly up the stairs, she knocked on his door.

"Intrude," A husky voice murmured.

She opened the door and walked in, holding her jacket across her body tightly.

"Hidan? I wanted to-" She broke off as she saw him standing near the window, the twilight outlining his body. He turned and smirked.

"I fell asleep so quickly." He muttered, more to himself than to her.

"A-asleep?" She stammered, holding her jacket even tighter.

"Mmm-hmm." He crossed the room and looked down to her. She bit her lip and squeaked as he put his arms around her.

"Hidan?" Her voice was muffled by his shirt.

"What's the matter? You're never this shy in all the other dreams." He said. "But then, they change every night, so I guess it's to be expected."

"E-every night?" She whispered in disbelief.

"I'm boring you, aren't I? How can you bore a dream? Oh, whatever." He slipped her jacket off, revealing the tank top she had decided to wear.

_Mistake._ She scolded herself as she felt his warm hands on her arms. She shivered.

"Cold? I'll fix that in a minute," He chuckled as her jacket dropped to the ground. "We'll both be warm when this is over."

She swallowed.

He pulled back and looked her in the eye, leaning in and claiming her lips in a warm kiss. She jerked in surprise, but he didn't seem to notice or, if he did, care. During the kiss, his hands travled downward and he unbuckled her belt and undid her jeans. They fell to the floor, leaving her in her tanktop and underwear.

"I see you're wearing the lingerie." He smirked before kissing her hard.

_Jashin… this is… not… not good?_ She couldn't think properly when he was so close, especially when his hands were sliding down her thighs and all over her ass.

"Come on." He murmured, breaking the kiss and leading her to the bed. She tried to resist, but he wasn't having it.

He yanked off his shirt and undid his own jeans, leaving him in his boxers. He crawled onto the bed, on top of her, and kissed her passionately, his tongue sliding in and out of her mouth as he pulled her panties down her legs. She shivered as his hand travled downward and a finger entered her, shocking the poor girl out of her senses.

"Whassa matter, huh?" He breathed, his sweet breath washing over her face as he moved in and out of her. "It'll get better, don't be so damn impatient."

She swallowed and opened her mouth to speak but suddenly found her lips very occupied.

Her body tensed and bucked as he moved faster and faster. She could feel her climax… and the he stopped… wait, stopped? No. Not cool.

She was about to snap an order at him when she felt him shimmy out of his boxers and remove her tank top. She had a feeling it was about to get better.

_Hell fucking Y-E-S!!_ She screamed in her mind as he unclipped her bra and flung it away. His head nestled in the hollow of her throat, where he kissed her neck, nibbling and sucking on the skin. His member brushed the inside of her thigh and she gave a slight moan, causing him to chuckle.

"Mmm… I know, I have to hurry before 'Kuzu wakes me up," He murmured, lifting his head to stare into her eyes. "So I'll get on with it."

He positioned himself over her and pushed inside, earning a gasp and a whimper that deepened into a moan. He smirked.

"You like that, don't you?" He whispered in her ear. She nodded frantically and he pulled out and thrust inside, deep inside. Soon he found a steady rhythm and he rocked in and out of her. Her hips bucked in time with his thrusts and her head rose up, her lips meeting his. She savored his taste on her tongue, wishing this moment would never end.

Of course, as soon as the thought formed, she felt herself being pushed towards the edge. She knew he was close, also, because he moved faster.

With a cry of satisfaction on her lips, she was over the edge, her insides clenching. He came directly after, shooting his seed deep inside the younger girl.

Breathing hard, he pulled out of her and kissed her deeply.

"I'm surprised 'Kuzu hasn't woken me up yet." He murmured, rolling off her and moving so that he was lying flat on the bed, pulling her after him and nestling her head in the hollow of his throat.

"Mmm…" She mumbled, closing her eyes. About five seconds after, she heard his breathing even out and her eyes popped open, her breathing quickened, and her heart raced as the enormity of what had just happened crashed down on her.

_What the HELL??_ She screamed inwardly. _How could I have let this happen?_ She knew the answer but refused to think it. Carefully, she removed his arms from her and pulled on her scattered articles of clothing, opening the door quietly and hurrying away.

…

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit FUCKING DAMNED SHIT!" She screamed once she was safe inside her house. Quickly, she pulled out her cell and dialed Kakuzu's number.

"Yeah?"

"Kakuzu, _do not tell Hidan I was over there._ Do you fucking understand?"

"What? Why?" The bewildered voice came back.

"Jashin help me, Kakuzu, if you tell him I will fucking _kill_ you, do you understand me?" She knew she sounded hysterical, but she didn't care.

"What the hell did he _do_ to you?" He sounded frantic.

"Nothing!" She said, too quickly.

"I'll be over in fifteen minutes." The phone went dead.

"DAMMIT KAKUZU!" She bellowed, running to the shower and stripping, jumping in and frantically scrubbing herself clean. As soon as she got dressed in a white tank top and black shorts, there was a barrage of knocks on her door.

"COMING!" She yanked open the door and Kakuzu flew in like a bat out of hell.

"Tell me what the fuck Hidan did to you, Miamay, or so help me I'll ask him!" He threatened.

"No! Don't ask him!" She pleaded.

"Then tell me!"

"Okay, okay." She relayed the basic outline. He groaned and sat down hard on her bed.

"I can't believe he was _stupid_ enough to… holy fucking shit…" He muttered. She looked at her hands and realized she was shaking.

"Please, Kakuzu. Don't tell him."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because…" She hesitated.

"He fucking raped you and you don't want me to tell?"

"It wasn't rape!" She said, offended. "I can defend myself better than _that_, thank you very much!"

"…" he stared openmouth at her and she realized what she just said.

"No- I mean, not that I- shit." She cursed.

"You _like_ him, don't you?" He cried, quoting exactly what Satori had said that one day. Her face flushed.

"No!"

"Then what? You just wanted a quick fuck?" There was a hard edge to his voice now.

"No! I'm not that much of a bitch, 'Kuzu!" She snapped. "'Sides, it would have only been my second time!"

"Wow, really?"

"Yes. Why's that surprising?" She sounded miffed.

"Er… so, how to you feel about Hidan, anyway?"

She blushed.

"I…" She was unwilling to speak the deadly words. "I do… um…" Her face was burning and she held onto her dresser for support.

"You do…" He motioned for her to continue.

"I think I might… love… him." She mumbled under her breath.

"Holy _shit_!" Kakuzu shouted, and she looked up to see a grin breaking out over his tattooed face.

"Wha…"

"You love _Hidan!_"

"Shut _up,_ you stupid bastard! I said I _think_!"

"Oh, bushwa!"

"What… the hell, 'Kuzu?"

"Never mind my choice of words. Wait until I tell him!"

"_**NO!"**_ She snarled, and he flinched.

"What?"

"If you fucking tell him any of this shit I will personally and very happily _strangle_ you!"

"Okay, okay." Kakuzu backed off. "I get it."

She sighed and sat down on the floor.

"Okay… I'd better get back to make sure Hidan hasn't exploded from satisfaction." Kakuzu said dryly.

"He doesn't know."

"Huh?"

"I told you, he thought he was dreaming. And if you tell him I'll kill you."

"Right. I haven't forgotten _that_ cheery notion." He muttered, then grinned. "But I was talking about finishing a dream for once." That said, he left, leaving the poor girl standing bewildered behind him.

_I wonder… does he love her, or is it just lust?_ He thought as he started his car and pulled out of her driveway.

**...**


	5. Baby?

**Last chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed both the previous chapters, and this chapter. Love you all who read it! This is dedicated to SaveADrumBangADrummer23.**

**...**

**Expecting... Maybe... A Baby?!**

"Okay, Anko. I'll get on the nearest plane." Miamay sighed into the phone. Her aunt was pestering her to come visit them. She had finally relented, to save her own ass.

It was about three months after the "Dream Fiasco" and Miamay and Hidan were about as close as they could get without her sitting on his lap. He called her his 'best bitch', and he was her 'man friend'. Nevertheless, she was still awkward around him, especially when he'd say something completely innocent and she'd have nice little flashback.

"Good. We all miss you, Mia-chan." Anko said gently.

"I know, Anko. I'd better go so that I can pack."

"Alright, we'll be waiting."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Bye." She hung up and exhaled, then inhaled quickly as a wave of vertigo sent her reeling for the bathroom, where she threw up in the toilet.

"Jashin… why's this been happening…?" She groaned, wiping the back of her mouth. She stood and flushed, heading out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, stuffing a few weeks' worth of clothes into a suitcase and adding her toilletries.

Upon reaching the into the bathroom cupboard, her elbow dislodged a little blue box. She stared at it and began counting backwards in her head. She paused, then started again. Then again, a little more frantically.

"No…" She whispered when the third, fourth, and fifth count were the same.

Pregnant. She was fucking _pregnant_.

"Well, that's just nice and _fucked up_!" She shouted to no one. She finished packing frantically and drove to the airport as fast as possible, getting on the first plane to Konohagakure, racing to leave her past behind.

…

She knocked wearily on the door to her aunt and uncle's house, waiting impatiently for the door to open.

"Yeah, yeah… Miamay!" Anko swept her into a hug.

"Hiya, Anko." She said weakly.

"How's my favorite niece?" She stepped back to look at Miamay. "Oh, you've grown so much!"

"First of all, I'm your _only_ niece. And second of all, I don't think I've grown at all." Miamay laughed.

"Yes, I think you've gotten even taller." She decided, ignoring her niece's words. Miamay rolled her eyes and spread her arms.

"Can I intrude?"

"Of course, dear." Anko stepped aside and let her in.

"How's Kakashi?"

"He's much better. You should go upstairs and see him." She suggested. Miamay nodded warily and headed up the stairs.

"Uncle Kakashi?" She knocked tentatively.

"Come in." The hoarse voice replied. She pushed the door open and peeked in. He spied her and struggled to sit up.

"Mia! It's so good to see you!" He exclaimed.

"It's good to see you too, Uncle Kakashi. You're looking a lot better."

"I feel a lot better, too." As if to contradict his words, he coughed and grimaced. She smiled wanly and crossed the room over to him.

"How's my daughter?" He asked, worry creasing his visible eye.

"Mikomi's great. Healthy as a whor- horse." She corrected, and Kakashi laughed.

"You still love to tease her, eh?"

"Of course. I haven't really changed, Uncle Kakashi." She said with her half-grin.

"You probably have, more than you think."

They exchanged small talk for a little longer, then Kakashi said, "You should go to the house and get settled."

"I should, shouldn't I…" She murmured, stretching. "Alright, I'll be back tomorrow, Uncle Kakashi. Bye."

"Goodbye, Mia-uruwashii."

She smiled at the nickname and left her aunt and uncle's house, heading down the road to her house.

It had been her parent's house, but they had died shortly after she turned ten in a murder. The police had said it was an accident, but she knew it had been no accident. Her parents didn't get hit by a truck going eighty miles an hour while walking on the sidewalk by fucking _accident. _It was cold-blooded _murder_.

She unlocked the door to the house and breathed in the scent. It still smelled like her parents, Zabuza and Haku Mamochi (for all intents and purposes, Haku's female). Her chichioya and hahaoya.

"I miss you guys so much. You would know what to do right now." She whispered sadly.

_BAM BAM BAM BAM BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM!!!!_

"MIAMIAMIA!!! We know you're back so open the door!"

Naruto. Go figure.

She opened the door and was openly tackled by the blonde dobe.

"Ooomf!" She exhaled and grinned, hugging the overexcited boy tightly.

"Hey, Naruto-baka! Where are Sasuke and Sakura?"

"Right here, Mia-hime!" The voice of her childhood friend, pink haired Sakura Haruno, sounded.

"I'm here, too." The stoic Uchiha Sasuke said.

"Hey, everyone. I missed you guys so much!" She opened her arms and they all hugged (yes, Sasuke too).

"We missed you more! You missed so much!"

"I've only been gone five months, Naruto. It's not even half a year."

"That's, like, a _billion_ years for Naruto." Sakura said, rolling her emerald orbs.

"You have a point there." Miamay agreed.

"Guess who moved back?" Sasuke asked, fixing her with his piercing onyx gaze.

"Oh. My. Jashin. You're kidding."

"Nope. Karin's here and bitchy as ever."

"Daaaaamn. That fucks." Miamay groaned and sat down. They all nodded.

"Can we help you move in?" Sakura interjected. She shrugged, and they all began helping her arrange her things.

"Mia-hime, you have so few clothes! We need to go shopping." Sakura chided. Miamay eyed her closet and nodded in agreement.

"You're low on ramen! I'll bring you some." Naruto offered.

"…" Sasuke blinked and stared at her abdomen.

"The hell you looking at, Uchiha?" She snapped, feeling self-conscious.

"You're pregnant." He stated simply, effectively pausing Sakura and Naruto.

"She's… _WHAT?_" Sakura screeched.

"How the hell did _that_ happen?" Naruto looked taken aback.

Miamay looked abashed.

"I… um… I… it… um… I c-can explain?" She looked everywhere but them.

"You should! You go away for, like, five minutes and you come home _pregnant_? Who's the bastard?" Sakura ranted.

"Sakura. Calm down. She's uncomfortable with it enough as it is. She'll tell us when she's ready." Sasuke grabbed her wrist and spoke softly. Miamay didn't miss the blush hindering Sakura's cheeks.

"OH MY JASHIN! You guys are together!" She squealed. "I knew it! Naruto, you owe me fifteen bucks!"

"Damn. I was hoping you forgot." Naruto grumbled.

"Are you with Hinata-itoshii yet?" She demanded. When Naruto turned red, she squealed again.

"That's thirty you owe me!"

"Damn."

"And let me fucking _guess_, Ino's with Choji, Shino's with Kiba, Shikamaru's with Temari, Neji's with Tenten, Juugo's with Hana, Lee's with Gaara, Kankuro's with Sakon, Kidoumaru's with Kimimaru, Ukon's with Tayuya, and Asuma's with Kurinai." She ticked each couple off on her fingers.

"Damn! How come you're always right?"

"Dunno. But you owe me a lot of money." She grinned wickedly. "About 180 smackeroonies, I'd say."

"DAMN YOU!"

"Already damned."

"Enough! Come on, let's all go out tonight. All of us. The rookie nine and the other six." Sakura said, putting an end to the couple betting.

"Alright! I can see them all again." Miamay cheered and hooked arms with Naruto.

…

"No, I'm fucking serious," Satori fumed over the phone. "She _left_."

"How could she fucking do that, seriously? We're her best Jashin-damned friends!" Hidan growled, pacing the room angrily.

"I don't know. She could have at least fucking _told_ us!"

"Do you know where she went?"

"Not for certain, but I have a pretty good idea."

"Where?"

"Konoha."

"That place?"

"Yeah. Her whole damn family's there. I think that's where she'd go."

"Get packed. Bring Mikomi, tell her to get packed, too."

"Why?"

"We're going after her." He hung up and pulled out his suitcase.

"Where are you going?"

"After Miamay."

"Huh?"

"She fucking _left_ somewhere without telling either me or Satori. Or Mikomi, apparently." Hidan snarled, jerking the suitcase open and throwing some clothes in a pile on his bed.

"Do you know why?" Kakuzu asked quietly.

"No! That's what-" He stopped in mid-sentence and sat on the bed, his head in his hands.

"Hidan…"

"It just _hurts_, you know? She's my best girl friend and she fucking leaves without even telling me _why_ or _where_."

"I…" He hesitated. Should he? "I know why."

"What?" His head jerked up. "Why?"

"Well, I don't if it's for certain, but it's a pretty good idea." Quickly, Kakuzu told Hidan what Miamay had told him never to repeat.

All throughout the story, Hidan's eyes grew rounder and wider until they resembled satilites.

"You've got to be fucking _kidding _me!" He groaned, flinging backwards and covering his face with his hands. "I fucking _did_ that to her?"

"Yeah." Kakuzu said, shrugging. "She told me not to tell you or she would 'personally and very happily _strangle_' me." He said, shrugging.

"Why? Why didn't she just tell me she hated me and never wanted to see me again?" He murmured, confused.

"Because she…" Holy shit, he was going to hell in a handbasket. "She loves you."

"She fucking _WHAT?_" Hidan sat bolt upright and stared at Kakuzu, who backed up slowely.

"Yeah. Don't tell her I told you that. She'll fucking eat me alive." He said. Hidan nodded and quickly stuffed everything in his suitcase, slamming it shut.

"I've got to find her."

"Why in such a rush?"

"I have to tell her!"

"That…"

"Isn't it fucking _obvious?_ That I love her too!" He pushed passed Kakuzu and out the door. Five seconds later, a car started and pulled out of the driveway.

"Fuck! He took my car!"

…

"Urk… what a fucking _long_ flight." Hidan stretched and yawned.

"No time for sleep, Hida-chan. We have to find Mia." Mikomi said, poking him in the ribs.

"I _know_ that." He muttered. "But I need _sleep_."

"You can sleep when we find her."

"That's a good plan."

"I know. Come on." The three walked through the streets and looked around for any telltale sign.

"Let's try the bar." Satori said, and they walked over to it.

…

"Miamay, you should try singing." Shino encouraged.

"Hell yeah!" Kiba howled. "I wanna hear your smexy voice!"

"Yeah, suuure." Miamay eyed them. Everyone else laughed.

"You should, though." Temari said.

"It's been a while since we heard you." Kankuro agreed, his arm slung lazily around Sakon's shoulder.

"Oh, alright." She stood up and walked to the stage and picked a song.

_It's too late, baby_

_There's no turnin' around_

_I got my hands in my pocket_

_And my head in the clouds_

_This is how I do_

_When I think about you_

_I never thought _

_That you could break me apart_

_I keep a sinister smile_

_And a hole in my heart_

_You wanna get inside_

_Then you can get in line_

_But not this time_

_Cuz you caught me of guard_

_Now I'm running and screaming_

_I feel like a hero_

_And you're my heroine_

This was when Hidan, Satori, and Mikomi entered the bar. They all stopped and stared at their friend, who hadn't looked this happy in a long ass-fucking time.

_I won't try to personify_

_I'll just take a deep breath_

_Then I'll look in your eyes_

_This is how I feel _

_And it's so so real_

_I've got a closet _

_Filled up to the brim_

_With the ghosts of my past_

_And the scattered sins_

_And I don't know why_

_You'd even try_

_But I won't lie_

_You caught me off guard_

_Now I'm running and screaming_

_I feel like a hero_

_And you're my heroine_

_Do you know that your love_

_Is the sweetest sin?_

_And I feel a weakness coming on_

_Never thought so good_

_Could be so wrong_

_Had my heart on lockdown_

_And then you turned me around_

_And I feel like a newborn child_

_Every time I get a chance to see you smile_

_It's not complicated_

_I was so jaded_

_And you caught me off guard_

_Now I'm running and screaming…_

_I feel like a hero_

_And you're my heroine_

_Do you know that your love_

_Is the sweetest sin?_

The song ended and she smiled at her friends and rejoined them at their table.

"Hidan…"

"Yeah?"

"You still have that hat I gave you?"

They whipped up a disguise in five minutes and he went up to the stage wearing a white fedora with a black stripe, black pants, and his white dress shirt. Mikomi always carried color contacts of all colors with her, so his eyes were a yellow-green now instead of violet.

He cleared his throat and snapped his fingers. The lights dimmed and Miamay's whole table looked up. She didn't seem to recognize him.

She would in a second.

_Check yes, Juliet_

_Are you with me_

_Rain is falling down _

_On the sidewalk_

_I won't go_

_Until you come outside_

_Check yes, Juliet_

_Kill the limbo_

_I'll keep tossing rocks_

_At your window_

_There's no turning back_

_For us tonight_

_Lace up your shoes (ay-oh-ay-oh)_

_Here's how we do…_

_Run, baby, run_

_Don't ever look back!_

_They'll tear us apart_

_If_

_You give them the chance (give them the chance)!_

_Don't tell your heart_

_Don't say 'we're not meant to be'_

_Run, baby, run_

_Forever we'll be_

_You and me_

_Check yes, Juliet_

_I'll be waiting_

_Wishing, wanting_

_Yours for the taking_

_Just sneak out_

_And don't tell a soul goodbye_

_Check yes, Juliet_

_Here's the countdown:_

_Three, two, one_

_Now fall in my arms, now!_

_They can't change the locks_

_Don't let them change your mind!_

_Lace up your shoes (ay-oh-ay-oh)_

_Here's how we do…_

_Run, baby, run_

_Don't ever look back!_

_They'll tear us apart_

_If_

_You give them the chance (give them the chance)!_

_Don't tell your heart_

_Don't say 'we're not meant to be'_

_Run, baby, run_

_Forever we'll be_

_You and me_

_Run for the night_

_We're running through the night_

_Way up_

_Alright  
The view from here_

_Is getting better with_

_You by my side!_

_Run, baby, run_

_Don't ever look back_

_They'll tear us apart_

_If_

_You give them the chance…_

_Don't tell your heart_

_Don't say 'we're not meant to be'_

_Run, baby, run_

_Forever we'll be_

_You and me_

_Run, baby, run_

_Don't ever look back!_

_They'll tear us apart_

_If_

_You give them the chance (give them the chance)!_

_Don't tell your heart_

_Don't say 'we're not meant to be'_

_Run, baby, run_

_Forever we'll be_

_You and me_

The song ended and Hidan scanned her reaction. It was a frozen mix of horror, embarassment, shame, pain, joy, hope, more horror, and love. She murmured something in the ear of the blonde boy by her side and he whispered something the the black haired boy who prodded the pink haired girl. They all got up and headed for the door.

Hidan groaned in frustration and leaped off the stage to follow.

They went outside and he overheard her say something.

"-he's the… guy."

"You mean the fucker who-"

"Shut _up_, Naruto!" Pinky hissed, clapping a hand over the blonde's mouth.

"He's following us." The raven haired boy muttered.

"That was the idea." Miamay replied, turning and facing him. He reached up and pulled the contacts out of his eyes.

"Miamay, look, I'm sorry." He got out hurriedly before she could say anything.

"S-sorry?" She stammered, looking confused. "That was my line."

"No, it's rightfully mine." He replied. "I know what I did and I am _so fucking sorry_. I am just… Jashin, I'm so ashamed of myself."

Miamay stared at him with her mouth hanging open.

"Holy _shitake mushrooms on toast!_ 'Kuzu _told!_ That _fucker!_ I swear to Jashin, I will _kill_ him!" She screamed at the sky. Hidan winced.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why don't you hate me?"

"Do you just _want_ me to hate you?"

"No! Jashin, no!" he struggled with words. Sasuke saw his opportunity and stepped foreward.

"You know what you did to her."

"Yes."

"And you'll take full responsibility for whatever outcome is involved?"

"Absolutely."

"Um, Sasuke? Maybe we should get Miamay home." Sakura said tentatively.

…

"What do you mean?" Naruto demanded. "How can that even be _possible?_"

"Dreams can be very vivid." Sasuke conceded.

"True, but… holy _shit_. I can't imagine that."

"OKAY! Enough about that." Miamay broke in. "What were you going to say to Hidan, Sasuke?"

"Right." He faced Hidan again and looked at him with coal-black orbs.

"As I was saying, you're going to take full responsibility?"

"And as _I_ was saying, yes. What are you getting at?" Hidan asked.

"She's pregnant." Sasuke said bluntly.

Both Hidan and Miamay's mouths dropped open.

"_SASUKE_ MOTHERFUCKING _UCHIHA_!!!" A bloodcurdling screech ripped through the silence and Miamay was on her feet, boring holes in the Uchiha's head. "I WILL FUCKING _KILL_ YOU, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??? YOU ARE GOING TO-"

"Mia…" Hidan whispered. She froze in the middle of her threat. He crossed the room and placed and hand on her stomach, causing her to blush lightly.

"Expecting… maybe… a baby?" He uttered. "I'm… a… _daddy?_"

Sakura chuckled and sipped her tea.

"Yup. Congrats, daddy."

He sat down and rubbed his forehead.

"You don't have to help me. I can take-" Miamay began.

"He has to help you. He already said he would." Sasuke said.

"I know, but it's also my decision to keep it. I could get rid of it…" Even as she spoke the words, she knew she wouldn't. She already loved the baby more than anything in the world. She would keep it no matter what the hell happened.

"No." Hidan said forcefully.

"Huh?"

"You're keeping it. Him. Her. Whatever. _We_ are going to raise it. _Together_. As a _family_."

They all stared openmouth at him.

"That… was unexpected." Naruto commented.

After a few seconds of dead silence, Sakura finally said, "I have to go home. You coming, Sasuke-kun?"

"Yes." Sasuke still sounded shocked.

"I'm coming too." Naruto said, standing and following the other two.

Even after the door closed, Miamay simply stared in shock at Hidan.

"What?" he asked.

"F-f-family…" She murmured, rubbing her stomach gently.

"Why? Do you not want to?" He asked anxiously.

"Well… I do, but…"

"But what?"

"Two best friends can't raise a child…" She said hesitantly, looking away. He stood quickly and tilted her head upward, making her look in his eyes.

"You're so ignorant sometimes." He murmured.

"Hmm?"

"You can't tell, even after…" He bit his lip. "Even after we made love, you don't see?"

"What is there to see?" She asked softly.

"That I love you."

Her breathing hitched and her eyes widdened. He smiled gently and leaned foreward, claiming her lips in a small kiss.

"Don't say anything. I know you love me." He said softly when she opened her mouth to speak. She clamped her mouth shut and blushed.

"'Kuzu told you that, too?" She whispered.

"I already knew. Well, sort of." He grinned. She grinned her magic half-grin back, sending his heart reeling.

"When I first met you, I didn't think you were beautiful." He murmured. "But now I see you without any pretenses. You're more than beautiful. You're a fallen angel."

"Hidan…"

"Shhh…" He wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest. She wrapped her own arms around his back and held him tightly.

…

Miamay opened her eyes and smiled. She had fallen asleep as soon as her head had hit the pillow. Hidan kissed the top of her head and traced the contours of her spine as he whispered a poem to her, a beautiful tale of his love for her.

_You flaunt your beauty in the rose, you're glory in the dawn._

_You're sweetness in the nightingale, your whiteness in the swan._

_You haunt my waking like a dream, my slumber like a moon_.

_Pervade me like a musky scent, possess me like a tune_.

_You are the heart within my heart, and the life within my life._

She smiled and snuggled closer to him.

Happiness wasn't gone.

It had just arrived.

And it looked like it would stay a long time.

After all, what was life without a dash of Jashin?

-Owari-

...

**The poem was soooo sweeeeet!!! Well, last chapter. Bye everybody!**


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